482 Nights

It was bound to happen. Something that could not, nor should not, have been avoided. The inevitable has happened, and yet I still somehow feel off-guard.

My little man has been alive for exactly 508 days. Aside from the 26 nights he spent in the NICU, I have put him to sleep every night and been there when he woke up every morning. That's exactly 482 good-night kisses, 482 bed time prayers, 482 sleepy snuggles, and 482 bright morning wake-ups. All of that, however, is about to change.

Tomorrow, I am flying up to Portland for an amazing honor. Several years ago, I was asked by my dear friend Amy to be her son's Godmother. It was so wonderful to stand up and witness Owen's baptism in the same church that she and I grew up in. I was, once again, asked to be Godmother to her daughter Grace. I am so excited to spend some quality time with them, finally see their home, attend their church, and witness the baptism of their amazing little girl. All that being said, I am SO sad that I will be missing one night with both of my guys.

I know Kc will do an awesome job as a "single Dad" and Noah probably won't even recognize that I'm gone. I know that one night spent away from my family is not a bad thing. In fact, it might even be a good thing...refreshing my spirit and re-energizing my soul. I know that when I am picked up from the airport, there will be hugs and kisses aplenty. All this I know...yet why is my heart so heavy?!?