Dear Ryan,

Dear Ryan,

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Boy!  Although you would be six years old today, you will always be my baby boy...my little one...my first born.

As the years pass since loosing you, I must admit that the pain I feel, while still real and raw, is no longer constant, but rather an ebb and flow throughout the days.  Reminders of you are all around us, whether in actual items, friends going through similar losses, or Noah innocently talking about his "big brother Ryan".  I think and wonder about what you would be like.  How our life would have been different with you in it. 

I long to hold you in my arms, feel the weight of you on my body, and smell your sweet aroma.  I love you, baby boy.  Happy Birthday!

Love,

Mama

It's Noah's {Last} First Day of Preschool 2013

Noah is so excited to go back to school.  This is his last year in preschool...next year he transitions into kindergarten.  Bubs is feeling so confident about heading back into his old classroom. 

I can't wait to see what this year brings!!!

Summer Library Time

This summer, Noah and I had the privileged of going to the library and joining in their summer reading program.  Each week, we went to the preschool reading time as well as a fun literacy program {magic show, musical singing group, reptile show, etc.}.  Bubs learned to LOVE the library as well as any book written by Mo Willems.

This is us at the magic show...I think it was a bit lost on Mr. Man.  Too bad, because I enjoyed it.

Here we are at the Oklin Bloodworth musical show.  Mr. Man enjoyed it quite a bit!

Preschool Story Time...do you see a theme with the photos?!?

Every time Noah and I read a book, we would record it on a Summer Reading Log.  After reading ten books, he earned a prize from the library.  Noah LOVED his new glasses...as well as the Mo Willems books he checked out.

This was our very last Story Time of the summer.

I am so blessed to have summers off in order to rest, relax, and rejuvenate with my Little Man!

Hello...anyone there?

Hello...anyone there? 

I bet so many of you who check this blog daily or weekly are wondering that very same thing.  Are the Jacksons still there?  Are they doing anything?  Are they having fun?  How is Noah?  What's going on? 

I know...I know...I know.  It's been almost three months since my last blog post.  I am sorry for the absence.  I love this blog so very much, it is after all Noah's "baby book", and I appreciate all of your visits and comments.  

This past May was a very challenging month for me, both physically, emotionally, and professionally.  I must admit that I went into a bit of a funk and needed a bit of time and space to "hibernate".  I feel very passionately about living your life "in a fish bowl".  I believe God does amazing things in our lives as well as the lives of others when we are visible, transparent, and open.  I continue to be blessed by the friendships I have made with other families living with trachs, g-tubes, and Fraser Syndrome.  I would not have known them had I not put myself {and my son} out there for the world to see.  I decided, however, that because of my emotional state, I needed a bit of alone time and, thus, gave myself permission to take the summer off from blogging.

It has been a wonderful summer filled with amazing memories of family and fun.  I have a running list of blog topics that I need to get to on my refrigerator.  I thank you so much for sticking around during our absence and I promise to start those blogs coming.     

Drawing

If you know Noah, you know that he struggles with both fine and gross motor skills.  Because he only has one eye, Mr. Man has no depth perception which can make simple tasks a bit more of a challenge.  My Little Man is not a fan of writing or drawing.  In fact, I can safely say that he pretty much detests most forms of art.  He struggles to hold a pencil correctly and make it draw the things he wants.  Noah prefers to use a marker because he doesn't have to press down on the paper as hard as when he uses a pencil or crayon.

This summer, we have been working at writing and drawing.  Bubs has been practicing drawing people and {surprise, surprise} Angry Birds and Star Wars characters.  Noah gets frustrated when his drawings don't look the way he wants and usually asks for help with "complicated" pictures.

The other day, Noah was drawing a picture of himself {much to his chagrin} and he told me that he needed Squirt in the picture because "he is my best friend".  Let me tell you that just melted my heart and I gladly agreed to draw Squirt once he finished his self-portrait.  I was pretty impressed with Noah's drawing {as well as my own}.

On a side note, I found it interesting that Noah insisted on drawing two eyes.  He knows that he only has one but I suppose that he always sees pictures and drawings of people with two eyes so he felt he needed to draw two.  Interesting...